another sad post

i wrote this post last week and didn't post it. since then another friend's father has past away. i don't know if we are just getting to the age or what, but i don't like it

i hate writing sad posts, but it seems to be what i do best lately. no bueno.



i have been thinking about this a lot over the last couple days so i figured i would share it with all of my internet followers.



my coworker's dad died yesterday, and another coworkers dad died the day before that, and one of my good friend's dad died a couple of weeks ago. if you include the passing of my best friend's father back in november, that is 4 friends who have lost their dads in 4 months.



when my friend's dad died suddenly last november i really started becoming paranoid about my loved ones. it really struck me how terminal life really is and about how you need to appreciate every moment you have with them. i really began to make sure that no matter how annoyed i might be i always say goodbye, say i love you, and give a real kiss to tc before we go our seperate ways. i wasn't doing it thinking, "oh my God this could be the last time i see you now give me some sugar" or anything equally depressing, just conscintious about making sure that if anything were to happen i wouldn't have my last memory be a bad one.



for a while this kind of thought processes would give me little bouts of anxiety when i had too much time to think about it, but i decided to have a new outlook on it. instead of doom and gloom, really it is just appreciating the people that i have in my life. living each day to the fullest. showing how much my sweet husband means to me every chance i get.



i think this last week was especially hard with the two coworkers. it made me want to drive down to see my family and make sure they were all okay and give them lots of hugs. of course then they would think i was crazy(er)



i guess what i am trying to say it love the ones you got. make sure they know you love them.